The other thing we have in the studio is called the Peace Table. If you are upset or having a problem with another warrior, you can invite them to the Peace Table. This gives the warrior a chance to express his/her unhappiness in a safe environment, and speak directly to the source.
Warrior 1: “I’m not going to be your friend anymore!” Warrior 2: “I don’t want to play with you anymore!” Guide: “It looks like you need to have a peace conversation. I’m here if you need the support.”
Warrior 2: “It makes me sad when you say you don’t want to be my friend. So could you please not say that. Thank you.”
Warrior 1 is then requested to mirror what they just heard. “Warrior (Insert name here instead of “warrior”), I heard you say it makes you sad when I say I don’t want to be your friend. I won’t say that again. I’m sorry.”
If the other warrior also has something that they aren’t happy about. They can use this opportunity to talk about what is bothering them. Using the same format, warrior 1 can start the conversation again.
“It makes me sad when you don’t play with me. Could you, please, play with me?” Warrior 1 will respond in a similar manner. “Warrior, I heard you say, it makes you sad when I don’t play with you. I’ll play with you and I’m sorry.”
The apology is not mandatory and as a support person, you can and do sometimes set a limit and say. “I am glad that you guys have had a peace conversation. Warrior 2 would you like to set a time limit on how long you want to play with warrior 1?” Then, come to an agreed amount of time. Both parties feel heard and you are no longer trying to play referee. This gives them an opportunity to learn how to problem solve and resolve conflicts by themselves. It lets them see how to communicate and be the kind of person who talks directly to the person they are having a problem with.